鞋

（2015.8.30.）

        竹杖芒鞋真能輕勝馬嗎？踏破鐵鞋之後，得到的會是什麼？你腳下的鞋子，又負載著你的重量，走過了多少人生旅程呢？

        憶起燭台雙嶼的歸程，一向仰仗的輕便球鞋竟成了「開口笑」。也曾在上班時驚覺鞋跟搖搖欲墜，而我沒有曼陀珠廣告女主角索性將鞋跟拔起丟棄的率性優雅，情急之下竟只能用透明膠帶黏貼固定一番…。這些關於鞋子的糗事，當下是難堪的窘迫，事過境遷觀照起來，卻也別有一種趣味。因為腳型忒嬌小細瘦的緣故，選購鞋款對我而言殊非易事，往往有我心儀的樣式，卻沒有適合我的尺寸。新近買了一雙Jelly Beans的日本鞋，米白色的基底可以搭配任何顏色的衣著，簡樸的蕾絲與蝴蝶結綴飾，素雅卻不單調，尺寸恰恰是適合我的二十一號半，卻也不禁好奇：除了我之外，有多少人能穿得下這雙鞋呢？

    果然「每下而愈況」嗎？踩在腳下的鞋子，竟也有助於我們頓悟人生的大智慧？《淮南子˙說林》：「夫所以養而害所養，譬猶削足而適履，殺頭而便冠。」《韓非子》：「鄭人有且置履者，先自度而置之其坐，至之市而忘操之，已得履，乃曰：『吾忘持度。』反歸取之。及反，市罷，遂不得履。人曰：『何不試之以足？』曰：『寧信度，無自信也。』」Ellery Queen《荷蘭鞋子的秘密》中，鞋子更成了破案的關鍵，好一樁謎履奇案。

        電影中的鞋子更是琳瑯滿目：《偷穿高跟鞋》裡Maggie的叩問：「如果都不穿戴出門，擁有滿櫃華麗的高跟鞋又有什麼意義？」片中透過同樣鞋號的高跟鞋，串起看似南轅北轍的姊妹之間的共同點。《命運鞋奏曲》裡的亞當山德勒偶然發現一台神奇裁縫機，用它幫客人補鞋後，他就化身鞋子的主人，踏進顧客的生活，用新奇的角度看世界。《白宮第一管家》一下班，太座立刻好奇探問：甘迺迪夫人賈桂琳究竟有幾雙鞋呢？《第三者》裡錯綜複雜的情緣，竟也由鞋冥冥中串起，連莎翁與灰姑娘都來湊一腳。最經典的鞋當然首推《仙履奇緣》中的玻璃鞋，遂也預購了Matthew Christian Reinhart的新作《Disney Princess: A Magical Pop-Up World》，十分期待在紙藝大師的巧手下，用紙如何表現出玻璃的質感？Lily James主演的新版Cinderella，畫面唯美考究，美不勝收，綠草如茵的莊園風情，浪漫的林間騎馬邂逅，乃至華麗盛大的宮廷舞會，每一幕都想讓人停格欣賞。然而美則美矣，我卻喜歡《魔法黑森林》中的灰姑娘多一點，改編自得到東尼獎的同名音樂劇，劇中將玻璃鞋換成了黃金鞋，嫁給王子真的是灰姑娘唯一的出路與救贖嗎？皇室婚姻的繁文縟節，會不會又是另一個不堪的桎梏與泥淖？心緒猶疑不定的Cinderella，鞋子被瀝青黏住困在皇宮的階梯上，唱道：

 He's a very smart Prince,

 He's a Prince who prepares.

 Knowing this time I'd run from him,

 He spread pitch on the stairs.

 And I'm caught unawares.

 Well it means that he cares-

 This is more than just malice.

 Better stop and take stock

 While you're standing here stuck

 On the steps of the palace.

 All right what do you want?

 Have to make a decision.

 Why not stay and be caught?

 Should I give that a thought,

 What would be his response?

 But then what if he knew

 Who I am when I know

 That I'm not what he thinks

 That he wants?

 Or, then, what if I am?

 What a Prince would envision?

 But then how can you know

 Who you are till you know

 What you want, which I don't?

 So then which do you pick:

 Where you're safe, out of sight,

 And yourself, but where everything's wrong?

 Or where everything's right

 But you know that you'll never belong?

 And whichever you pick,

 Do it quick,

 'Cause you're starting to stick

 To the steps of the palace.

 It's my first big decision,

 The choice isn't easy to make.

 To arrive at a ball

 Is exciting and all-

 Once you're there, though, it's scary.

 And it's fun to deceive

 When you know you can leave,

 But you have to be wary.

 There's a lot that's at stake,

 But I've stalled long enough,

 'Cause I'm still standing stuck

 In the stuff on these steps...

 Better run along home

 And avoid the collision.

 Though at home they don't care,

 I'll be better off there

 Where there's nothing to choose,

 So there's nothing to lose.

 So I'll pry up my shoes.

 Wait no thinking it through,

 Things don't have to collide

 I know what my decision is,

 Which is not to decide.

 I'll just leave him a clue:

 For example, a shoe.