老人與海The Old Man and the Sea

　　老人的耳鬢有沙士的香味。
　　連同他的膚色、堅實的臂膀與這片海灘的氣息，你感覺夏天的風，仔細磨蹭呼吸著。那紅棕色的慾望就像搖晃過的碳酸飲料轉開瓶蓋，濺得你一身甜。
　　老人的唇薄而帶著微微苦澀，你吻過了，淡淡的惆悵停留在舌尖，彷彿看見黃昏老人拉長的身影等待潮退。老人說他抽煙的日子可比你活過的還長。唇上灰白交參的短髭扎著你的臉頰，扎痛了你就吻得更深。你幻想鯨豚對湛藍海域的想望。
　　那時老人背著釣具沿著海堤赤腳走來，你閒散地騎單車與他擦身，他注視了你幾秒，帶著難以解讀的笑容，你也微笑回應，卻急忙低下了頭踩車就走。潮水還漲著，夕陽跟著你到海堤盡頭，你漫步牽車回返。很快夕陽沉了，你正好看見老人蹲在防波石上點起了菸。你把車停好，然後朝他走去。老人臉上一樣的笑容把嘴裡的菸遞給你，你不抽煙卻不敢回絶，嗆得胸口發疼。老人皺眉笑說浪費他每天只抽這麼一根。他寬厚的手掌撫揉你的背，過重的手勁讓你前傾半個身子找重心。他又倒了杯溫熱的茶給你，久浸的茶葉已經發澀卻生津提神。老人轉身看著釣竿的動靜，再沒人說話，只有海浪碎掉的牢騷輕鳴。直到夜色深了，老人說，回家吧。你蹲太久兩腿發麻，在濕滑的石頭上一步踉蹌跌在老人肩上，老人於是扶起你的身體，發覺你冷，替你套上他的外衣。道別後，老人赤腳沿海提走了。外衣的淡淡菸味彌留不散，你騎上單車，心暖暖地撲通著。
　　老人的身體年邁卻硬朗。那天，他褪去薑黃的短衫和藏青色長褲朝海水奔去，精瘦的軀體透著粼粼波光。他在浪裡忽隱忽現，高聲吆喝你一同入水。你不明白這樣年紀的人哪來的興頭，雖然你不諳水性，但也索性脫了上衣奔去。你的一陣亢奮只維持到水及腰際不敢再走深，一浪掀起來正拍在臉上，眼睛都昏花了。老人看你發獃，躲在浪裡向你游來再一個撲身把你撂倒，你整個人淹進海水裡，眼睛鼻子嘴巴都鹹苦得淚水直流。好不容易睜開了眼睛卻又找不到人影，當下直覺不妙，拔腿快溜，褲子卻吸了水，沉得抬不起腳，忽然兩踝被人抓著，又一頭栽進水裡。褲子脫掉吧，老人說。聽了還真令你愣住，他嗓音蒼老卻笑得像孩童般天真。
　　老人撫摸你，像海水舔舐沙灘那般平靜。溫柔繾綣地滑過你的耳廓與兩頰，在頸肩輕洄，又順著脊梁流到雙臀。老人的眼神有異，你明白那種危險的瞳裡泛光，如同你所揣摩的自己。你看著老人的臉，伸手理了他被海水打亂的眉毛，一輕碰卻不可收拾地將他用力摟住。分不清誰的心跳失控地震著彼此胸口，你感覺到老人勃發的私處與你的相觸。老人闔上眼沒有妄動，你只好吻他，他濁重的呼吸回應著你。海灘的空曠讓你知道自己的慾望是如此無所遁形，所有壓抑的饑渴一觸即發。你啃咬老人的胸肉呻吟，海的鹹苦味刮過你的喉舌，顫抖讓這場禁忌不假思索地氾濫了。老人緩緩蹲下身來，卸去你最後一道無謂的防備，將你直挺的陰莖含入口中。細緻且溫和，彷彿溶化了的愉悅在舌尖翻攪，你撫觸老人在你兩腿間柔軟的短髮，微禿的髮線還留有美人間的曲度，令你難以招架的性感與風流模樣。你的亢奮急速攀升，在老人與海潮聲協調的節奏中激烈的快感迸出，兩腳掌埋進沙裡緊緊擒著。你回過神抱住老人等待他的反應，老人微笑搖頭不理，便拉你穿好衣褲，無話地走回岸上。
　　老人的歌聲清亮又帶著靡靡的悽愴。那首〈北國之春〉總讓你覺得濫情卻難忍眼淚。你不懂半句日文，也跟著老人在海風中亂哼亂唱。你要求老人翻譯歌詞，老人說他也只能破碎地解釋幾句。（剛收到母親寄來的小包裹…故鄉…回去吧…啊…北國的春天…）你看著老人臉上的細紋，好像在解釋你對歲月的疑問卻又藏著無人可碰的神秘，（喜歡你這句話兩個人都說不出口…）你從不過問太多，老人也有相同默契。(大哥跟父親一樣，兩個人都不愛說話…偶爾也會一起默默喝酒吧）而時空遲滯得讓你覺得生命在緩步化。每當歌聲結束就是好長一段沉默，有時像這樣的長鏡頭會讓你覺得身處在小津安二郎的電影似的，而老人側臉與身影竟有點像〈東京物語〉裡的笠智眾了。
　　你捉摸不住老人對你的情感，就像你也預料不到每次退潮沙灘的樣貌與海相，連落日時的天光雲影都善變。你的激情開始嬌縱任性，把老人拉進荒廢無人的哨兵小屋，像小孩般向他索求擁抱。磚砌成簡陋的四面牆留有門窗，地上還攤開一本雨濕糊過又乾掉的值勤日誌。你心想此地以前駐兵嚴防偷渡，現在你卻在偷渡些什麼。老人從背後將你攬進胸懷，鼻息在你肩胛上游走，貪婪地吸著肌膚上任何催情的分子。你側過身將頭埋進他的髮際溫存蹭動，雙手也不乖地溜進他的褲襠大膽探索。你毫不保留地挑逗，撩起老人最激烈的愛慾，任由他把你按在牆角解下褲子卻猶疑停住。老人徵求你的同意像畏罪的小孩一般惹人憐。你濕潤了他然後讓他緩緩進入了你。粉刷的牆壁斑駁掉漆，你伏在上頭喘息，窗口吹來海風呼呼作響。老人快速地抽送著，一切卻溫柔而平靜。老人沒有年輕男人那種自作饒勇的噪音，沒有全身血液充滿睪固酮那股辛辣，這樣的性快感幾乎成為一種心情。在彼此交融的汗裡你忘情地把頭伸出了窗。外面一片鹹鴨卵黃的晚霞暖意從海平面灑滿整個海堤，包括飛過的一群海鳥與這哨站小屋。
　　老人說他天天都來看海，但沒辦法天天跟你做愛。你笑著低下了頭。老人在沙灘上牽網，向你解釋這裡傳統的漁法。他們佈下的漁網會在漲滿的潮水中因浮球張開，退潮時魚群遭漁網攔截，只要順著漁網走就會有收獲。但現在短少的漁獲讓整個工作像是一種玩笑或興趣。老人愛這片海。當午後的陽光被濃密的層雲包圍，只透出一道光柱如聚光燈般打在海上，讓你覺得海是一座迎接著上天的舞台，有一隻獨角獸即將降臨來帶走誰。而你愛老人，但你不屬於這裡。你們沿著浪的邊緣行走，時而驚動幾隻花蟳慌張地冒出沙來又急急忙忙埋起自己。不知何處漂來破舊的鞋在灘上陷進一窪水海水，困住細細的蝦苗游著像一團煙霧。還有擱淺的水母透明的身體虛弱地顫動，你想把他帶進水裡，老人說已經來不及了。而這一切，彷彿愛情。你躲藏的自私，沒有出口的困頓，以及一切絕對遲來的領悟。有一種不安讓你口乾舌燥。
　　老人其實比你更明白。在難得的晴朗天氣裡太陽才能安穩地浸入海平面，一點一滴地下沉，最後像一盞燭光讓行經的膠筏打滅。此時半個月亮已經淡淡掛在空中，等待夜色來令她甜橙一般的光更成熟。老人放開牽著你的手有濕濕的汗。你吻老人的臉頰，像沙士的香甜。你脫下外衣還給老人，而他當然如你所願地拒絕了。老人給了你他今天的那根煙就轉身走了，赤著腳。你連再見都說不出口。

英譯 謝浩麟
English Translation Tommy TSE


The old man’s sideburns permeated the aura of Sarsae.
With his skin color, his strong arms and the tinge of beach, you felt the summer wind, dillydallied and breathed carefully. That brownish desire was like opening a shaken carbonic acid drink, which splashed you all over with its sweetness.
The old man’s lips were thin, slightly bitter. You had kissed, and the disconsolate feeling remained at the tip of your tongue, seemed noticing his long shadow at dusk waiting for the ebb tide. He said he had been smoking for much longer than you lived. His short grey mustache pricked your cheek, yet the pain drove you to kiss him deeper. You imagined whales’ and dolphins’ fancy of blue water.
While he came on barefoot, carrying his fishing tackle along the seawall, you were cycling idly, met him by chance. He gazed at you for a few seconds, wearing a strange smile. You returned a smile, but quickly lowered your eyes and left. The tide was still rising. The afterglow shadowed you till the end of the seawall. You strolled back, carrying your bike. Soon the sun retreated, you just saw the old man squatted on the break-rock and lighted a cigarette. You parked the bicycle, headed to him. He smiled again, handed you the cigarette in his mouth, though you never smoked, you took his offer. Choked by the pungent smell, your chest ached. The old man frowned with a smile, said, he merely took one cigarette a day. His palm rubbed your back gently, his stroke were too heavy that made your body lean forward. He also made a cup of tepid tea for you. The old tea-leaves tasted acerbic but perk up your spirits. He turned around, glanced at his fishing rod in the sea. Silence. Only the sound of breaking waves was heard. The sky went dark. “Go home now,” he said. Your legs became tingle after squatting too long, and fell against his shoulder when stepping on a slippery stone. He thus held you, put a coat over you when he found your hands were cool. Saying farewell, the old man walked on barefoot along the coast. The light smell of cigarette remained on his coat. You rode the bike and your heart thumped fast and warm.
He was old but hale. On that day, he took off his turmeric-colored shirt and navy trousers, ran into the sea and his lean body was reflected upon the shinning waves. He was gleaming in the waves. He yelled at you to go into the water. You could not know clearly why a man his age had so much interest for swimming. Although you could not swim, you took off your shirt instantly and ran into the water. The excitement merely pushed you up to waist level in the water, you dared not to swim farther. A wave rose and hit you on the face. You felt dizzy and could not open your eyes.

The old man intently hid himself in the sea when he saw your awkward look. He swam towards you, suddenly threw himself at you and you fell down and submerged in water. Your eyes, nose and mouth tasted the salty bitter water and then you tore. You opened your eyes uneasily but could see nobody. Your instinct told you something unusual happened. You intended to run straight away, but your soaked trousers hindered your escape. Suddenly your ankles were grasped, you were pulled into the water. “Strip off the trousers,” he said, and you were really startled. The old man laughed as a naïve child.
He stroked you calmly as sea water lapping the beach. His hands ran gently and emotionally round your ears, cheeks, neck, then shoulders, eventually reached your buttocks down your backbone. His eyes went strange, you knew that dangerous flash in his eyes so well as you knew yourself. You looked at his face and tidied up his eyebrows, the light touch triggered his forceful hug. You could not tell whose heart was thumping in a disorder speed and felt that his stiff thing had touched yours. He closed his eyes, motionless, you kissed him. He responded a muddy heavy breath. Situated in the wide beach, you realized your hidden but finally exploded desire. You bit his chest and moaned. The salty bitterness of water scraped your throat and tongue, and you trembled for this explosive flooding of taboo. He slowly squatted on his feet, tore off your last defense, suck your stiff penis into his mouth. Delicate and tender, as if the melting pleasure was stirring your tongue. You caressed his soft short hair between your laps, his young bald-line remained the curve that beautified this world - sexy, amorous, irresistible. Your rapture rapidly climbed up. Your ecstasy furiously burst out in the rhythm of old man and wave, two feet were grasping tightly in the sand. When you hugged him and waited for his reaction, the old man merely smiled, shaking his head, urged you to put on your clothes, and then went ashore silently.
His voice was clear and loud, in windy and mournful mood. "The Spring in Northern Country" was overtly sentimental, you thought, but still a tear-jerker. You could not say a word in Japanese, but you followed him and crooned freely, facing the sea breeze. You requested him to translate the lyrics, he said he could only explain a few phrases fragmentally. (just received the small parcel from mum… my homeland …back home …ah…. the spring in Northern Country) You looked at the small veins on his face, as if explaining the query of time but hiding the untouchable mystery at once. (“I like you” were unspeakable for both of you) .You never asked too much, neither did he, such a privity. (My elder brother was like my father, both didn’t talk much…though occasionally drank together quietly). Stagnancy of time affected you sense to life. When the song ended, a prolonged silence followed. Sometimes the long shot like this made you feel like you’re in Yasujiro Ozu’s movie, the old man’s profile and figure resembled Chishu Ryu in Tokyo Story.
You could not predict his sentiment towards you, unforeseen as the appearance of beach and sea when the tides ebbed. The sky and clouds at sunset were also ever-changing. Your passion was capricious. You went to an abandoned hut with the old man, urged for his embrace as a child. The four plain walls, built by bricks, with a door and windows. One duty-logbook, had ever soaked with rain and dried again, was opened on the ground. Here you thought that the troops had been strict against smuggling, and now you seemed to be smuggling something. The old man held you in his bosom and his breath swam across your scapula, greedily inhaling any amorous elements on skin. You turned around and laid your head into his hair caressingly, and your hands naughtily exploring in his pants. Your unreserved provocation evoked his most intense love and sexuality. He pushed you against the corner of a wall and took off your trousers. You did not stop him but he hesitated to go further, as he would first beg for your consent as a loveable child who feared punishment. You made him wet and let him slowly penetrate you. You lay on the mottled wall breathing, the roaring sea breeze blowing through the window. The old man moved rapidly, in and out, but everything was gentle and calm. Unlike those young men who made arrogant noises, without the somatic piquancy when the blood filled with testosterone, such sexual excitement was almost like a mood. Yours and his sweat were mingled, you uncontrollably stretched your head out of the window. Outside, the warmth of salted-yolk-colored sunset spread over the entire seawall, a flock of seabirds and this sentry-hut.
He said he would watch the sea every day, but not make love with you every day. You smiled and lowered your head. He pulled out the net at the beach and explained to you the fishing tradition here. The nets laid in the sea would spread by the floating ball during tidal rise, and the fish would be caught during the tidal ebb. They could get all fish as they went along with nets. But now, due to the small amounts of fish, the whole work was like a joke or interest. The old man loved this sea. When the afternoon sun was surrounded by thick clouds, only a stream of sunlight shone upon the sea like a light beam, you would feel the sea was a stage for heaven and a unicorn would come from the sky to take away someone else. And you love the old man, yet you did not belong here. You two walked along the edge of the waves together, some crabs were frightened and abruptly rose up, but quickly buried themselves in the sand again. The worn-out shoe from somewhere was trapped in a pool of sea water. The shrimps were swimming like a cluster of smoke inside the pool. The transparent body of a XXX jellyfish was trembling, physically weak. You wanted to bring it back into the water, but the old man said it’s too late. All these, were like love. Your hidden selfishness, the impossibility of fleeing, and all absolutely late understandings. A kind of discomposure intensified your thirst and frustrated your emotion.
In fact he knew more than you. In the rare sunny weather, the sun could peacefully descend to sea level, little by little, till it completely sank and finally tuned off like a candle light by a passing plastic raft. Now the half moon was rising high in the sky, waiting for the dark night to make her sweet orange light more mature. The old man released your hand that he held, sweaty. You kissed his cheek, fragrant and sweet as Sarsae. You took off the coat and gave it back to the old man. And he refused as you wished. He gave you today’s tobacco, turned around and went away, on bare feet. You couldn’t even say goodbye.

http://www.liwen.com.tw/index.php?CA=book_spec&bookid=2753
男女胴体專題號．身体想

出版商：麗文文化事業股份有限公司
類別：教育學 課程與教學理論
ISSN：9789889924621
書號：FZA0436
刷次：初版一刷
作者：張璐瑤、葉曉曦、賴家瑩、謝浩麟 編輯
譯者：
頁數：196
開數：18
出版日：2006-07-00

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