I feel.....Nothing...I see...NOthing....I want...Not this..

Sittin here...crying...like I have always been for the past three yeasr....Sometimes Im ok if i m busy or I am been productive. Otherwise, like now I felt desperate anger and sadnesss...Today and Tomorrow till the day I leave will still be the same each day...
Its too late..right? ali ...hammad....one is engaged one probaly marry to that rich desi girl....I must admit Im really sad about that...esepcially H.S...this really made me doubt about love...about everything that I trust or feel..IS ANY OF THE THINGS AND PPL I MET OR WILL MEET ARE REAL???WHAT’S REAL AND WHAT’S NOT??


THe only thing that i have ever loved is..Raphael..I Dont konw...wat the future holds...And i Dont konw WHy...I fuckin love him so much...probaly i owe him last life.....He and I are somewhat Becomin more and more alike...I begin to knwo how he feels...IM so dpressed...I feeel like my heart is dyin evryday..evry minute...Im wastin my time my life my youth for what...For taiwan? for ppl here for every rotten shitzzz....that’s happening on this island...NO NO NO my anger haven’t been eased ...

I miss Canada..I miss my friends..there’s not one day i Dont miss those times..I miss the faces thesmile the smell of secondcup the mall...the fun...the chnaces......yet....everything seems just like a dream...that will never be rewind again.....

I feel like endin my life....It feels like..everything is happening over over again same thing over over again again.......the words...the feelings....the...emtions...everything is the same...and it will be for the rest of my life..I will continously feeling lonely by time and grumpy by years.....


my body will still remain the same....diet diet diet fail fail fail...Nothing will change...everything will stil b the same...
HOW can i chnage my LIfe to the LIfe that i want and the person i want to be .....??I DONT KNow...