The Devil's medicine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL4UTJ5Jp5U

[Verse]
As soon as i'm left alone
The devil wanders into my soul
And i pretend to myself
And i pretend to myself
I go out
To the old milestone
Insanely expecting
You to come there
Knowing that i wait for you there
That i wait for you there
Come!
Come!
Come here at once
Come!
Come
On a night with no moon
Because all of my being is now in pining
All of my being is now in pining
What formerly had cheered me
Now seems
Insignificant
Insignificant


I hope I am joking about that I feel no soul or a human heart in me. I think this fact reveals itself as the time goes on. When I was young, I was trying to find myself. I read. A lot. When I knew I am different from other people, I was not shocked actually. For being different, I am not saying about anything you might think of. I just don't belong here. I left home when I was 15 and never go back for over a week since then. A doctor or a pharmcist may say what makes me today is perhaps due to childhood trauma. I hope so. Then at least I can try to fix it. Any way, these pills are for just one night, no, 6 hours sleep. Yup, just like that.

Anywhere I can get more pills? Stronger is better.